The extended family

So let's talk for a bit about kithship.

It's not a term one is likely to encounter. Occasionally, you might run across the word "kith", usually as part of the term "kith and kin" (with all of its associated connotations of hillbillies, moonshine, and the Hatfields and the McCoys...).

But it is a concept which is all around us, and is daily being experimented with even though most people involved in the process are unaware that they are players and would probably not use the term.

According to the dictionary, kith means:

1. acquaintances, friends, neighbors, or the like; persons living in the same general locality and forming a more or less cohesive group.

2. kindred

3. a group of people living in the same area and forming a culture with a common language, customs, economy, etc., usually endogamous

It is very interesting to see the dictionary provide "kindred" as a synonym, an indication of the drift the word has undergone, since kindred is defined as:

1. a person's relatives collectively; kinfolk; kin.

2. a group of persons related to another; family, tribe, or race.

3. a relationship by birth or descent, or sometimes by marriage; kinship.

4. natural relationship; affinity.

The first 3 definitions blur any distinction the words once had.

For me, the definitional difference is very clear:

Kin is the family you are born into.

Kith is the family you choose.

Kinship is under stress in our culture, and in most technologically-advanced cultures. People live longer, move often, practice serial marriage/divorce, and multi-generational households are increasingly rare. Inheritance is not what it once was, since an adult may live long enough to have several families.

In such an environment, it is not surprising that kithship is being pursued by so many. Your kin are blood relations. Your kith are your social relations, your network, your "acquaintances, friends, neighbors, or the like" as the dictionary says, "a group of people living in the same area and forming a culture with a common language, customs, economy, etc." Your kith are the primary group, support group, touchstone which the family may no longer provide.

As the old saying goes, you can't choose your family so it's nice you can choose your friends. And choosing friends is what the vast people-catalog of the Internet is all about, people seeking out kith along myriad guidelines, requirements, and parameters -- a grand fluid experiment in kithship.

I feel kithship, even with its archaic overtones, is a vitally current concept and the word deserves exhumation. Resurrection.

And, returning to an earlier and primal theme, I would offer the simple idea and definition that your kith are those folks you most like to have intercourse with.